Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
