theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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