i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
