so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
