Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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