Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
