Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize