I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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