I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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