Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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