i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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