I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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