wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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