I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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