This is not my ceiling
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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