The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
