I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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