it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
