hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
