12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
