OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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