I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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