my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize