She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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