shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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