I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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