It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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