I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
