I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
