Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
