Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
