There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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