there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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