I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
