I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
