i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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