My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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