Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
