She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize