is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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