I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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