More tranny stories later!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
