Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
