Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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