I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
