the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
