i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
