i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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