Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
