Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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