lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
