what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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