exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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