Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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