I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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