I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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