do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
