I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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