I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
