man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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