a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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